Ten

Staying in contact is proving to be a challenge for Katie. She misses her best friend, Esther, like mad, but every time she goes to text or to send her friend a message she stops. Inexplicably stops. However, today Esther is online at the same time as Katie. Katie had been trying to compose a message to her friend all day, but an I.M. sounds even better. Chats are almost like having a conversation. Katie’s sister spends hours on the phone talking to her friends, but except for a few exceptions, Katie has never been one for phone conversation.

She clicks the little icon with her friend’s face.

Katie: Bonjour mon ami!

Esther: Hi!

Katie: how are you beautiful lady??

Katie cringed at her grammar, reminding herself it’s “Let’s eat, Grandma” rather than “Let’s eat Grandma.”

The girls exchanged niceties before rushing to pump each other for information. Eager to fill each other in on all the events they had missed. It’s all Katie can do to not end every line with “I miss you.” Esther is the first to say it, popping it in after a quick, humorous exchange. Katie stops a second and then with all her greatest conviction types back that she misses her too. She tries to contain herself to a degree, keenly aware at how inadequate words are to express her feelings without sounding needy.

Well, I am needy.

Yeah, but you don’t have to sound needy.

Katie sighs, forever doomed to talk back to herself. As the conversation continues, Katie feels her spirits soaring, but she’s still careful to try to hold back. As is she is injecting “I miss you” into the conversation left and right. Eventually, Esther’s internet connection dies, but the girls had already drawn the conversation to something of a close. Katie imagines what they would like if this were happening at their favorite coffee shop. They’d be sitting beside each other, silent, just enjoying each other’s company, completely content in the silence. Even across the cold internet, Katie feels the contentment in the silence, not the awkward waiting so often felt when conversations go quiet. Best friends, kindred spirits, bosom buddies. They know how to be silent together just as well as loud and raucous.

Katie thinks of telling her everything. She hints at a lot of it, but holds it back. She loves Esther and doesn’t want to burden her with her heavy heart. So, Katie wishes her a good evening through a text and yearns for her next trip to Esther.